The first time I spoke to you, I put my hands on my belly and said "my little angel ... my hero please hang in there". It was seconds after I found out that I was pregnant. I had the mixed feelings every woman has as a reaction to this news plus a little bit more. I felt happiness, responsibility, completness but the extra feelings I had were fear and anxiety. Fear of losing you like I lost my first two babies at 4 and 8 weeks. I wanted you so badly that I spoke to you everyday encouraging you and trying to teach you survival knowing very well that you don't even realize that somone is willing to do anything to have you in her life.

14 May 2006: I had a virus and was admitted in the hospital. I found out I was pregnant (daddy wasn't there and I wasn't happy, cause I had to be given a scan and I always wanted him with us). The doctor did not want to wait and I had the scan and that was what she said: "The first one seems to be fine, but I am not sure about the second one". I did not understand and went haa!!! and she broke the news that I might be carrying TWO...

I didn't know what to say or to think.. I didn't want a replacement for my 2 losses, I just wanted a healthy baby who can survive the journey. I wasn't sure about having twins, I didn't believe my body can carry two, I didn't know how complicated first pregnancy would be with two ... I wasn't sure, I was shocked and I was terrified.

Terrified cause I wanted you to happen this time, I didn't want to see daddy's precious tears ever again or babba's disappointment (the most two important people in my life)

19 June 2006: daddy and I went for a scan ... it was confirmed that I am carrying one baby only! I was so releaved as our chances of completing the journey together was much higher. I saw daddy's big smile which lightens up my whole life. You looked so relaxed like lying on a beach, feet up and arms behind your cute little head (we had to take a copy of it ... it is the first photo on the baby scan section on the Photo Album)

17 July 2006: I felt your first movement, it was the most amazing thing I experienced in my whole life (I wish I was a talented writer like your daddy to experess it) but I don't believe anyone could acutally describe this feeling. To know that you are starting your life insdie of me made me feel like we are one person, I fell in love with you immediately. You see I was lucky to experience the love of a father, the love of a husband and now I knew that I am blessed to be introduced to a new kind of love, one I did not know exists, the love of a child.

02 August 2006: Your mom is a very tiny creature, that is why this date is very important. I, for the first time in my life reached 50 Kg !!!!! I couldn't believe it .... I thought it was too much but then a couple of stretch marks which might creep on my skin won't harm if that means you are growing well.

25 August 2006: We had another scan and the doctor thought "you are a boy" but she wasn't sure. Daddy was over the moon, he wanted a boy so badly, in fact he never spoke to you as a girl. I had to warn him when he was making videos of us in case you turn out to be a girl and listen to all his conversations with you as a boy. He did not care and kept giving you diferernt boys' names every week J Again on the photo you looked like you were relaxing on the beach and everyone saw the scan said one thing "Oh my God, he has Nada's nose". I guess that's a good thing J

What was nice about this month is that I completely got rid of my morning sickness. One thing I did not enjoy one single bit!

14 September 2006: I hated this month with a passion. Daddy was taken from us for 5 weeks travelling on business to gray London ... you see, both daddy and mommy don't sleep well when they are apart and 5 weeks was just too long but thank God they were sensible enough to allow him to come and see us in weekends.

I hated this month too because I was admitted to the hospital again this time for low blood pressure. They did lots of tests but couldn't tell me why whenever I eat or drink my blood pressure goes very low. They assured me that you are fine and that all what mattered to me. I had to rest for 2 weeks and in October it started getting better.

1 November 2006: My third scan was taken this day ... we had a close up of your cute little face ... daddy thought you look exactly like your uncle Hamu. I thought you had Daddy's mouth. On this day daddy had his famous dance in the hospital .. the doctor confirmed "It is a boy" J We love this photo and we decided it should be the main photo on the website until we get the real one when you are born (inshallah)

11 November 2006: Another important date ... I reached 60 Kg!!!!!!

30 November 2006: doctor's orders were very clear, "You have to stop working Nada!" I stressed in the office cause mommy was managing a project and mommy loves her job and works very hard. You have dropped quite low and my doctor feared that you would arrive early. I obyed and stayed at home cause you are more important than anything in the world.

14 December 2006: On this date I had my last scan. You were too big to take any clear photo which made daddy and mommy very happy. We just saw that you are very well, feeding well and ready to meet us soon but the most important thing for "proud daddy" is the fact that you are definately a boy.

24 Decemeber 2006: We had our first false alarm. Mommy is nesting and is ordering everybody around to make the house perfect for your arrival. for 2 days I have been going up and down the 2 storey flat to make sure all is in order. By the end of the day, I had back pain and rushed to Marie (you will meet her, you will know a lot about her). Daddy was so tired but was very happy thinking his Christmas gift would be YOU, but no .. he has to wait J

1 January 2007: today is our due date but little angel is not ready yet .. as much as I want you to be held in our arms I want you to take your time and come when you want to. My hero, no pressure!

4 January 2007: I have taken the first natural induction. Herbal tea and cammomile pills. I was told though only if you are ready these would work. It did not!

7 January 2007: I have taken my second natural induction, another type of tea and some herbal stuff. Again you were not ready. I woke that morning and I thought Ronin would come on the 9th, he must come on a date with odd numbers just like Mom and Dad 7th May 75 and 15th November 73. So I had a feeling that you would come on the 9th Jan 2007. But no, the 9th came and gone 

10 January 2007: I had my third natural induction at 13:00, this time it was Castrol Oil. My mother and Marie were surprised that I took it without any compliants and did not even wash it down with water. That was determenation my boy. This time it worked. At 11:30 pm I started to feel that something is going on. and my first contractions started to appear. As I expected my boy was not going to let me down, he knew he needed to come on a odd number and he did on 6 hours later.

Something you need to know my little angel, my pregnancy wasn't easy but wasn't difficult either ... I enjoyed having you, feeling you and touching your little feet through my skin. You were very active, you loved stretching, I even had a bruise under my rib. I lacked sleep but I loved our quite night time together, reading and signing to you.

I was 11 days over due, It was 41 and a half weeks. On the 11th January 2007 we became two sperate persons...finally I held you in my arms .. kissed your cute little face and shared you with the most patient daddy in the world to celebrate the new life of our little angel .. our hero .. our Ronin

With Love, hugs and kisses
Mommy